


I'm not feeling like myself today (or any other day for that matter)

by egberts, multibear



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, PermaBipper, Permabipper AU, in which bill is stuck as dipper and dipper is stuck in the mindscape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-17 09:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egberts/pseuds/egberts, https://archiveofourown.org/users/multibear/pseuds/multibear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill fully expected to be ejected from Dipper's body after the sock opera fiasco, but when he wakes up in a hospital a few days later with a very angry ghost-like Dipper hovering above him he's pleasantly surprised. He ultimately decides to keep trying to destroy the journal (much to Dipper's dismay) but when it's time for Bill to stop being Dipper things don't quite work out how they're supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A PROLOGUE IN THREE PARTS

**Author's Note:**

> PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AS "MULTIBEAR" BUT MOVED IT TO MY MAIN ACCOUNT.
> 
> firstly: if you don't know what the permabipper au is you should check out the tag on tumblr or here. i didn't create the au but damn if i don't love it. (i should specify now that dipper will not be turning into a triangle in this fic)
> 
> secondly: the prologue is in three "parts" because i needed to tell like the start-off to everything in a efficient yet descriptive way
> 
> thirdly: i'm proofreading these chapters myself because i'm too embarrassed to let my girlfriend read this so if you find a mistake just hmu

**PROLOGUE PT. 1**

When Bill opened his eyes he should’ve been immediately tipped-off that something was very wrong – Dream Demons _do not sleep._ He was too foggy to notice right away though; instead he brought a shaky, groggy, sore hand up to his eye and rubbed the sleep away. A small involuntary groan escaped his mouth and _that_ was when he realized there was a problem. He was suddenly much more awake and in a sort of panic, his eyes darted around the room… a… crap what were these things called? You’d think with millennia worth of ancient knowledge he’d know something as simple as a, um, a… A HOSPITAL. That’s what it’s called. A hosp…i..t… waiiiit a minute. Why the hell was he in a hospital? He’s an omnipresent bodiless demon for crying out loud.

Bill’s eyes settled on a lightly snoring figure curled into a ball in the armchair diagonal from him, he could barely make out tangled curls of brown hair. Mabel? He slowly brought one of his(?) hands up into his line of vision. Yeah, so it definitely was not the hand of an all-powerful Dream Demon that he was staring at. He flexed his hand and blinked a few times to make sure what he was seeing really was… well… what he was seeing.

“Oh, haha, look who _finally_ came to.” Somebody groaned from above. Bill’s eyes shot up.

Dipper?

As an all-powerful all-knowing demon of dreams, Bill typically prided himself on knowing what was going on all the time, unfortunately now he didn’t have a clue. When a Dream Demon inhabits somebody’s body they get to joyride until the body is exhausted to the point of sleep or worse, death. Dipper fell asleep… so…

“What are you doing up there?” Bill was temporarily shocked by the sound of his own voice, which didn’t actually sound like his but instead Dipper’s.

Dipper frowned. “Oh y’know, just hanging around.” His voice was completely drenched with annoyance. Yikes. Bill stared at him blankly and Dipper threw his hands up and floated downwards, “Don’t play stupid! You took my body _remember?_ ”

“I… Remember… But you – your body – fell asleep. I should’ve been kicked out.”

“Oh really?” Dipper said sarcastically. “Well GUESS WHAT, Bill!” He gestured to himself, nearly see through (and only ABLE to be seen by Bill), and then to Bill, the solid embodiment of what was supposed to be him (Dipper). “Explain this then!”

Bill couldn’t. He was just as confused as Dipper, more so even. Lifetimes of knowledge and he couldn’t make sense of why he was still the runt. Not that he was complaining.

“Listen, _kid_ ,” He started. “I don’t know what’s going on. I should’ve been given the boot when your body decided it was nap time but,” He spread his arms wide, “I’m still here.”

“Yeah, no duh.” Dipper rolled his eyes.

Bill shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell you; don’t know how to help you.” He looked down at himself. “But I know how to help myself.”

Dipper gritted his teeth… Er… In his own physical sense he did anyway. He was kind of intangible. “Give me my body back, Bill.”

That earned him a headshake, “Not gonna happen, Pine Tree. I’m still on this ride and I’m gonna make the most of it. Maybe when I get back to the Mystery Shack little Shooting Star over there will tell me where your pretty little journal is and I can get rid of it once and for all.”

“Pft, Mabel would never, she knows me! She knows you’re not me!”

“I can act like you.”

Dipper raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Mhm.”

“What?” Bill questioned. “I’ve got a couple thousand years of knowledge backing me up, I’m sure I can figure out how to be a twelve year old boy for a couple days.”

“You wouldn’t last a day.” Dipper hissed. “You’re nothing like me. In case you haven’t noticed _normal_ humans don’t go around stabbing themselves with forks and slamming their wrists into drawers.”

“Is that so?” Bill grinned. “Thanks for the advice. As hilarious as your pain is I guess I can avoid it for a few days.” His grin widened, “Oh, and, I think we’re more alike than you think.”

“That is absolutely no-” He was cut off by the sounds of soft rustling from Mabel’s direction. Bill shot Dipper one last menacing look before slumping down in the bed in an attempt to look sickly. He coughed for added dramatic effect.

Mabel sat up a little and looked in Bill’s direction. “Dipper?”

“Hm?” He mumbled sleepily, and surprisingly very convincingly.

“Are you awake?” She sat up more and swung her feet onto the floor.

Bill pulled himself up higher into the bed and blinked open his eyes (for a second time). “Mabel?!” He said with sudden alert. He pulled himself completely into an upright sitting position and nearly fell out of the bed in the process. His head darted in all directions and he continued in a very realistic panic, “Where’s Bill?”

“Oh Dipper!” Mabel exclaimed and threw her arms around him. “I was so worried about you! Don’t worry Bill is gone!” Bill loosely hugged her back and smirked up at Dipper.

Dipper looked defeated. He couldn’t do _anything_. All of the sock puppets were destroyed (as far as he knows) and there was no way he could tell Mabel that the Dipper she thought was Dipper wasn’t really Dipper. His heart honestly felt like it was in is stomach and he weakly said, “Mabel… that isn’t me.”

Mabel broke her hug with Bill, leaving her hands on his shoulders. She scanned him up and down several times. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so scared that dumb meany did something awful to you!”

Bill swallowed hard and laughed weakly. “Who me? Sh- Uh, Mabel are you kidding? It would take a whole army of triangle jerks to even _dent_ me!”

Mabel smiled and pulled him into another hug. She started talking mid-hug. All the hugging kind of made Bill feel weird, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t brush off. “Grunkle Stan went to get breakfast – some for you too, just in case you woke up, which you did!”

“Just in time it sounds like.” He grinned. “I love breakfast.”

“I know!” Mabel laughed and _finally_ stopped hugging him. “Crazy timing! We should tell the doctors you’re up!”

Bill nodded. “Good idea.” He swung is legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand. Big mistake. His legs ached and nearly gave out under his weight, luckily Mabel caught him.

“Bad idea, Brobro.” She frowned and helped him back onto the bed. “Bill messed you up pretty bad, Dipper. He worked your tiny little legs to the core and then some.”

“Tiny? Gee, thanks Mabel.”

It took some resolve for Bill not to laugh at Dipper’s dry remark. He sighed heavily and rubbed his sore legs. “Jeez…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell the doctors! Be right back!”  Mabel patted Bill’s shoulder and joyfully skipped out of the room. She was so happy to have her brother back in his own mind. How _terrible_ would it be to be stuck with Bill Cipher _forever!_?

**PROLOGUE PT. 2**

Bill had everyone wrapped around his finger for the first week or so as Dipper, even Mabel. Still, she was the hardest to fool. She started to notice things, little things like the way Dipper slept or how he parted his hair differently – which was definitely something only she would notice because he wore a hat all the time. She didn’t think much of it at first but there was enough that it ate at her. One of the most notable things was that Dipper couldn’t find the journal when he first got home. Mabel put where she was supposed to, Dipper’s words: “Mabel, if anything really weird ever happens you have to put this in spot only you and I will find it.”

He begged and begged her to tell him with excuses like he couldn’t remember and Bill messed with his head. She, much to Dipper’s dismay, eventually gave in and retrieved it from the secret room the twins had found earlier that summer… God, that was a weird room. She dangled it in front of Bill like bait at first; it took a little bit of arm twisting and eyelash batting to get her to hand it over. Bill thought it was amusing, one of the things she made him do was play “fashion model” with her and her friends.

As soon as he had his hands on it he intended to destroy it… but… one little peek couldn’t hurt. Bill sat cross legged on Dipper’s bed flipping through the pages, getting a good look before destroying it once and for all. Dipper loomed over his shoulder.

“You have the dumb book give me my body back.” He repeated for the millionth time. (He repeated a variation; rather, he didn’t keep saying that EXACT sentence.)

“Uh uh uh, Pine Tree, not ‘til I get a good eyeful of what this baby holds. Nothing interesting yet but I’ll find something I don’t know... worthwhile?”

“How often do you go on about being “all-knowing”” Dipper air-quoted.

“Hey even us infinite knowledge beings have our limits.” He shrugged. After that he flipped the pages in silence, Dipper had given up pestering Bill, as it was proving to be really freaking fruitless. “Y’know…” He started slowly turning back and forth between two pages. “I’m starting to think destroying this thing might be a bad idea.”

“Oh really?” Dipper threw his hands in the air. “What a surprise! What a conclusion you’ve come to! Give me my b-”

Bill put up a finger to silence him. “I’m gonna hide it.”

“Hide it?” Dipper raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, hide it. Out of sight out of mind, right kid? Let’s make a deal.” He shut the book and looked up at Dipper expectantly.

“A deal with you?” Dipper sarcastically put a hand on his chin in faux thought, “Why I can’t possibly see why I would think that is a _horrible idea!_ ”

“Hear me out, Dippy,” Bill sat the book beside him and stood up. “This is a good one.”

Dipper sighed. “I don’t have much of a choice, I guess.”

Bill nodded victoriously, “Right so,” He gestured lazily to the journal. “You let me hide this _in peace_ ; that means without being followed.”

“Why on EARTH wou-”

Bill put up a finger again. “You let me hide it and I’ll give you your meat suit back.” He took a few steps away from Dipper and turned around with his hands neatly folded behind his back. “You _don’t_ let me hide it _ALONE_ and I stay you for…” He shrugged. “As long as I want to.” He paused a moment. “And let me be clear, I don’t _want_ to be you. There aren’t exactly a plethora of Dream Demon skills I can use when I’m,” He pulled a disgusted face. “Human.”

“So then why would you stay in my body?” Dipper folded his arms.

“To torture you, of course.” He shrugged slightly. “Like I said, I’d rather not spend the rest of my – your – life as a human, but I know my desire to be me is far less than your desire to be you.”

Bill was not wrong. Dipper frowned and pondered the deal.

“Where will you hide it?” He tried.

“Nice try, Pine Tree. _Alone._ ” He tapped the cover of the book. “The sooner you agree to my deal the sooner you get your body back.”

Dipper sighed. “Fine. Okay. Deal.” He took Bill’s (his own, really, which was weird) hand and shook it. Bill nodded, not mentioning the obvious lack of ominous blue demon fire… no biggie right?

“I’m going to hide this, you stay here.”

Dipper complied, as much as he didn’t want to, he didn’t have a choice. Frustration gnawed at his (figurative) insides and he waited for Bill to come back.

Bill decided he’d hide the book somewhere so obvious that it would be impossible to find. He ran into Mabel on his way down the stairs.

“Hey Brobro, whatcha doin’?” She hummed.

“Journal stuff.” He shrugged in reply.

“Ohhh a mystery hunt?” Her interest was perked.

“Not today, Mabel.” He shook his head and kept walking. She stared after him and shrugged before continuing her way up the stairs.

Bill borrowed a crow bar from Soos. (“Sure, little dude, just don’t do anything too dangerous with it.”) He found it endearing how dimwitted Soos seemed to be. He took the crowbar into the TV room of the shack and slid Stan’s armchair back about a foot, pried up the floor board, and put the book inside it. He replaced the floor board and chair, and then looked at it from all angles to make sure it was absolutely not noticeable. It wasn’t. He nodded and tossed the crowbar onto the chair, Soos would find it later; Bill honestly didn’t care.

When Bill made it back to the attic room Mabel was on the bed on her stomach skimming through a magazine. He turned and waved at Bill as he entered. He nodded in return. When Dipper saw him enter he jumped up almost immediately. (Surprisingly, despite being a transparent and intangible being, he could still sit and lay on things. That was cool.)

“Did you do it?” He asked almost frantically.

Bill nodded in Mabel’s direction and raised an eyebrow, letting Dipper know it’d be weird if he spoke.

“Oh, who cares? She’s going to know soon enough!”

Bill shrugged. “Fine then. Yes, I hid it.”

Mabel looked up from her magazine. “Huh?” Bill ignored her.

“Good, give me my body back!” Dipper exclaimed with very obvious excitement.

Bill grinned and outstretched his hand. Mabel watched, extremely confused. “Take my hand, Pine Tree.”

“Dipper…?” She questioned.

Bill looked at Mabel and smirked. “He’ll be with you shortly.”

“Huh?”

Dipper took Bill’s hand.

“You really don’t know your brother as well as he thought you did, Shooting Star,” He winked.

It took Mabel a second to connect the dots but when she did her reaction was instantaneous. “Bill!”

“Ding-dong sweetheart!” He laughed.

“Wh- How long have – Where’s Dipper?!” She jumped up and stared threateningly.

Bill nodded in Dipper’s direction, Mabel obviously couldn’t see him. “Don’t worry; you’ll have your brother back soon enough.”

He turned his attention from Mabel back to Dipper. “Ready?”

“I’ve been ready.” Dipper groaned.

Bill pulled on Dipper’s arm (a funny sight in Mabel’s eyes since she couldn’t SEE Dipper). He stumbled back a bit and landed on his butt with enough force to knock his hat off, dragging Dipper down with him. Nothing happened.

“Crap.” Bill hissed under his breath. Mabel looked rather offended to hear a ‘bad word’ come from her brother’s mouth.

Dipper looked around. “Nothing happened, Bill, why did nothing happen?”

“Pull on my arm.” Bill said calmly, ignoring Dipper’s panic.

Dipper did as he was told and again, nothing happened.

Bill stood up and anxiously ran a hand a through his hair.

“Dipper – Bill?” Mabel watched in utter confusion. Bill put up a finger to silence her.

“Okay, Pine Tree, you pull and I pull, ready?” He took Dipper’s hand again and yanked hard – Dipper did the same. All this did was send Bill flying backwards with enough force to probably bruise his backside.

Panic was starting to set in, and panic, as you might have guessed, is not an emotion Dream Demons feel all too often.

“Why isn’t it working?!” Dipper asked frantically. “Why am I still floaty and see through?! Bill?!”

“Will you SHUT UP, Dipper?” Bill snapped. His outburst took Mabel by surprise as well as Dipper. He breathed heavily through his nose and stood again, rubbing his sore tailbone. “One more time, focus. You pull, I pull, don’t hold back.” Dipper nodded and took Bill’s hand once more. They both pulled with even more force than last time. Again sending Bill stumbling backwards with enough force that when he bonked his head on the bed post his vision went fuzzy and then faded to black.

Dipper stared down at his – _his_ – body in shock. He was still not him and now Bill _as_ him was passed out. This was definitely not good. He watched on the verge of tears (if he could even cry) as Mabel rushed to his side, only he was not him.

“Dipper?” She asked in a panic. “Dipper, hey, Dipper???”

Bill groaned and mumbled and moved around a bit.

“Mabel!” Dipper pleaded from above. “Mabel it isn’t me! I’m here!” He waved his hands in front of her face and desperately tried to get her attention, nothing worked.

After many moments of what was silence to Mabel’s ears, Bill spoke quietly. “She can’t hear you, Pine Tree.” He brought his hand up to rub his head where he’d bumped it. Mabel jumped back out of fear when she realized _Bill_ was talking _to_ Dipper rather that her talking to Dipper.

Bill’s eyes were still closed tight but he smirked when he felt her jump away. “What’s the matter Shooting Star, afraid of your own brother?”

“Y-You’re not my  brother!?”

“You don’t sound so sure about that.”

“I- You’re Bill Cipher!” She was hesitant, she wanted to _believe_ this was Dipper, but she _knew_ it wasn’t. “You were just talking to Dipper! You called him Pine Tree!”

Bill opened his eyes and let his vision adjust before sitting up. “Was I?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Yes! Where is my brother, Bill?” Her uncertainty was steadily being replaced by what Bill read as a mixture of anger and fear.

“Right beside you,” He waved his hand dismissively at Dipper. “Not that you can see him.”

“Just give me my body back, Bill! Then she COULD see me!” Dipper hissed.

“Hey, kid, I tried.” He gestured to himself up and down. “And I am still stuck in your meat suit same as you’re stuck in the… veil.”

Mabel looked back and forth between where she _thought_ Dipper was and the person who was apparently Bill but looked like Dipper, Bipper in other words. “WHAT is going on?” She demanded. Her gaze focused on Bill-In-Dipper’s body, as she had now mentally dubbed him.

“Tell her!” Dipper commanded.

Bill sighed and leaned against the bed post he’d just bonked his head on. “Alright kid, as you know I’m not Dipper. I’m Bill Cipher the Dream Demon blah blah blah, I _borrowed_ Dipper’s body on the day of your weird sock puppet show – what was up with that anyway?” Mabel frowned, unamused. Bill sighed again and continued. “Thing is, Dream Demons are supposed to be kicked out, times up, when the host body is no longer conscious – y’know sleep, death, coma, etc…” He shook his head. “Dipper’s body passed out and when it woke up I was still in it, stayed for a while too; had to get my hands on that journal of his – thanks for that by the way.”

“You’re not welcome!” She crossed her arms angrily.

Bill rolled his eyes and kept going, “So, I got the journal and I’m looking through it thinking ‘huh, this could be useful’ so I strike up a deal with Dipps over there.” He gestured a thumb in Dipper’s direction. Mabel looked to where he pointed and of course could see nothing. “Dumb idiot made a deal in the first place, that’s how we wound up in this mess.”

“Get ON with it,” Dipper snapped.

“Alright, alright, chill Pine Forest. Dipper fulfilled his end of the deal – he let me hide the journal, and I was trying – key word here, _trying_ , to fulfill mine… I can’t.”

“You can’t?” The twins said in unison. Even on different plains of existence they still had freaky twin telepathy.

He shook his head. “No dice, kiddos.”

“Why?!” Dipper’s eyes were wide.

“Well my best guess is because I,” He gestured to himself, “as you,” He gestured to Dipper, “am human. The soul of a demon essentially trapped in the body of a sweaty twelve year old. _You_ on the other hand,” He gestured to Dipper, “are not you, but rather a bodiless being existing inside the Mindscape. I guess I can see you because I’m technically from the Mindscape, I don’t know – technicalities. Anyway, point is, you’re like… my universal replacement.”

“What?”

“Y’know, I replace you as a human… you replace me as a” He made a rolling hand gesture encouraging Dipper to add the pieces together.

“You mean Dipper is a Dream Demon now?!” Mabel figured it out before Dipper, who was trying to process everything Bill said.

“Sort of? No and yes?” He shrugged. “He’s fresh and new, he has no idea what he’s doing, which is why he couldn’t pull my soul from his body.”

“You mean I have to _learn_ how to?”

Bill nodded and grimaced slightly. “Sounds like it, kid. You better get to work. I had thousands of years of practice under my belt, what do you have? A few more weeks of summer before Stanford ships you and Shooting Star here back to… Where are you even from?”

Both twins’ faces went white. The thought of Bill being Dipper in front of their parents was horrifying. Bill let a smirk pull at the corners of his mouth when he realized what they were thinking, “Don’t worry, if it comes to that I’ll behave in front of mommy and daddy… mostly.” He directed his attention to Dipper. “ _You_ need to work on figuring out how to manipulate the Mindscape. I’ll just,” He sighed begrudgingly and rolled his eyes, “Keep pretending to be you.”

“We’re not going to tell anyone?” Mabel frowned.

Bill shook his head. “No one.” Mabel was ready to protest but instead bit the inside of her lip in an effort to keep quiet. Dipper also remained silent. Bill looked between the both of them and clapped his hands together before standing up.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t destroy that journal, huh?”

 

**PROLOGUE PT. 3**

The days following the realization that Bill was stuck as Dipper we incredibly hard for Mabel. She often found herself alone while Bill did God knows what in her brother’s body. She talked to the thin air sometimes, hoping Dipper was there listening. He was. He stopped following Bill around and started trying to figure out how to fix this – triangle asshole was obviously useless.

Mabel sighed and rolled over from her stomach to her back, comfortably placing her hands folded on her chest. “Brobro, I don’t know if you’re in here or not but,” She fell silent to think. Dipper focused his attention on her when she started talking. “I’m sad.”

“Oh no, Mabel don’t be sad… come on its okay.” He said comfortingly, as if it actually helped. “I know you can’t hear me but trust me I’m going to fix this, there is no way I’m going to let Bill parade around as me forever!”

“I know if I could see you this is where you would say something like,” She puffed up her chest and balled up her firsts and did her best Dipper imitation. “Don’t worry Mabel, everything is gonna be fine. I’m going to save the day like I always do cuz I’m Dipper and I’m soooo coooool.”

“Hey, I don’t sound like that.”

“And I don’t sound anything like that, Mabel!” She continued, smiling a little, even Dipper in her head cheered her up. God, she missed him. Her smile faded and she sighed again before closing her eyes. “I miss you, Dipper.”

Dipper sighed too, shortly after Mabel. “I know.”

Bill, meanwhile, was downstairs unwillingly helping Grunkle Stan “lure in suckers” as he put it. It was awful. Being twelve seriously had some downsides – not only did Bill have to act like Dipper, he also had to follow rules and respect boundaries, and “be careful not to get hurt” because _apparently_ humans are super fragile. How. Stupid.

He was weaving a story about how the Mystery Shack was located on an ancient demonic graveyard – not all false. He told of how Demons would possess children and murder their families and that occasionally there would still be reports of a child that lost control in a fit of demonic rage. People oohed and ahhed at his story and the money really started pouring in when he revealed a glint of his yellow-tinted narrow-pupiled eyes. Bonus of _actually_ being a demon. The crowd ate it up.

As they were clearing out after Bill’s tale, Grunkle Stan patted him on the shoulder (with more shocking force than Bill would admit) and nodded. “Good job, kid, maybe you really do have a place in this business!”

Bill shrugged a bit and looked up. “I learned from the best.”

Stan snorted and patted Bill’s shoulder once more. “Flattery will you nowhere, go rearrange the glass eyeball display case.” Stan paused a moment and looked around. “And where the heck is your sister?” The question must’ve been rhetorical because as soon as he asked he went to find her – Bill assumed that’s what he was doing anyway.

When Mabel woke up she was greeted by the bright bedside light that Bill was using to read with. Her words were groggy at first, “What are you doing?” She sleepily rubbed her eyes.

“Studying.” He replied quietly. “Didn’t want to wake you up – guess that failed.”

“Oh how considerate.” Dipper rolled his eyes from above.

“Hey if there is one thing I’ve learned, Pine Tree, it’s that humans really need sleep, like seriously, you apparently spend half your life doing it.” He shrugged. “I can respect that.”

“What are you studying?” Mabel sat up.

“I’m mostly just holding the book for your brother, seeing as he can’t.” Bill turned to the cover of the book (making sure to put a hand in between the pages he was on). “It’s the history of sleeping, dreaming, and the psychology related to subconscious workings of the brain. Mostly all crap but Dipper insists he can learn something.” Bill looked unimpressed. “He’s wrong.”

“Hey it’s worth a shot!” Dipper protested.

“Like I said kid, you can’t learn anything about being a Dream Demon unless you _actively_ try. You just float around and mope; you haven’t even gone into the Mindscape!” Bill pondered for a second, “And anyway aren’t you Mr. Wants-to-know-everything-there-is-to-know? This is your opportunity!”

Dipper sighed. “Alright, alright, tonight I will, but for now _we read._ ” Bill couldn’t argue because he couldn’t exactly _make_ Dipper take the hands on approach, but at least he had a way with weaving words and making it seem like a good idea.

Mabel was always confused by the seemingly one-sided conversations Bill had with Dipper. “What’s happening?” She questioned.

“Dipper is going to go on a field trip.” He dismissively waved a hand. “Nothing important.”

She frowned and swung her feet off the bed. “Whatever, Bill, just keep me out of the loop.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” That earned Bill a swift bop to the back of the head from Dipper, pros of being able to have physical contact with only Bill: Dipper could smack him when he was mean to Mabel. Cons: Dipper was technically hitting himself. “Ow!” Bill rubbed his head. “What was that for?”

“Be nice to my sister.” Dipper scowled.

“Oh, I’m sorry; did you _want_ me to tell her you’re planning on going into the mysterious void of the Mindscape where you might not be able to come back because you don’t know how? I didn’t realize that was something you wanted her to know, my mistake.”

“What?” Mabel frowned. “You’re going into the Mindscape? Dipper you can’t! What if you get stuck!!?” She looked around in Bill’s general direction because she didn’t actually know where Dipper was.

“Hey look on the bright side, Double-S; if he gets stuck you can always see him in your dreams!”


	2. ACCIDENT PRONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still kind of setting a feel for the idea and developing the beginnings of the plot in this one, a bit shorter than the prologue chapter

It’d been two weeks, three days, seven hours, and thirty-two minutes since Dipper disappeared. He went into the Mindscape as Bill suggested and never came back out. Bill waited. Mabel waited. Bill was anxious. Mabel was worried. Bill did things to distract him from the idea of being stuck human for the rest of what was now going to be a relatively short life in comparison to the one he’d been living. Mabel cried more than once, Bill didn’t understand why. Sure faking being human was easy but faking understanding humans? That’s a whole new ball game, you’d think after years of people watching he’d know more than just how to make them squirm and suffer.

While Dipper was gone Mabel took it upon herself to “train” Bill. (He did not like it. At all.) “If you’re going to be my brother and my brother isn’t gonna be around to help you then I will!” She found it was a good way to occupy her time so she didn’t miss the _real_ Dipper so much. Bill tried to refuse but Mabel knew how to make him listen, as soon as he finds out what causes those body spasms though, Mabel has another thing coming!

“Okay.” She sat cross-legged in front of Bill on the floor. “If Dipper doesn’t get back before we have to go home you’re going to have to need to know how to act in front of our parents.”

Bill rolled his eyes. “As if it’ll be hard.”

“Trust me it will be harder than you think! You can get away with acting weird here; this is Gravity Falls for Pete’s sake, but at home…” She pulled a face. “You need some major work!”

“Alright,” He spreads his arms as a sign of willingness. “What do I do?”

“Firstly _stop_ hurting yourself.” She gritted her teeth in annoyance at the idea of Bill’s constant attempts to injure himself. “Pain is not funny, it’s bad! You have to stop purposefully falling down the stairs and running into things.”

Bill groaned. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“It’s not supposed to be fun! In case you didn’t notice humans are soft and we break easy. You think you’d figure that out after you twisted your ankle last weekend but you just keep going! It’s like you’re trying to get yourself killed befo-”

“Fine, fine!” He cut her off, he was not in the mood for a full blown speech. “Okay fine, I’ll tone down the injuries. Just stop lecturing me, I can’t take it.”

Mabel sighed through her nose and changed topics with no argument. “Secondly, you are way too charismatic to be Dipper.”

“That’s not my fault.” Bill shrugged. “Kid has a self-confidence issue, maybe he got over it during the summer.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes (again in annoyance if you can believe it.) “Look Dip- Bill.” Bill smirked at her near mistake, she glared in return. “You have to just be… less.”

“Less?”

“Yeah, less.” She waved her hands around in a vague rotating motion. “Less Bill, more Dipper.”

“Tell me, Double-S, has anyone other than you figured out who I am yet?” He arched an eyebrow.

“No! But they will! You can’t keep calling Wendy “Red” or Soos an idiot or Stan “Old Man” because that is not something Dipper does! And you CAN’T keep calling me Shooting Star, I am _Mabel_.” She pushed her lips together tightly and grumbled. “Your sister, for the time being.”

“You humans with your rules and regulations,” He waved a hand dismissively at her. “I’ll see what I can do, but for now I’m going to go downstairs and drink some more of that human soda. I hear it can rot teeth, excited to find out what that’s like!”

“Bill!” She protested and he grinned (A sign that he was joking?) before standing to leave. “And you can’t keep calling everything “human” things!” She called after him and he waved a hand over his shoulder in acknowledgement.

“Sure thing, **_Mabel_** _._ ”

Mabel sighed and let herself fall backwards onto the floor with a thud. “He’s going to ruin Dipper’s liiiiiiife.”

“I heard that!” Bill called from the bottom of the stairs.

“Heard what?” A very thick and gristly voice questioned.

Bill grimaced and turned towards Stan. Great, just who he wanted to interact with. “Nothing, Grunkle Stan.”

Stan shrugged. “Okay, kid, listen, since you’re here, I need you to go out back and pick all those weird mushrooms, they’re scaring the customers. And scared customers equal bad business!”

“You mean… the poisonous mushrooms?”

“I knew you’d be up for the job!” He patted Bill’s back. “Thanks kid, you’re a life saver. And don’t forget to wear gloves!” Stand said cheerily before taking his leave.

He watched Stan saunter off after basically just forcing a _really_ dangerous job on him. “Huh…” He looked over his shoulder and up the stairs and a wicked grin formed on his face. “So I’m not allowed to get hurt on purpose, huh Mabel? No problem.”

The mushrooms, much to Bill’s dismay, were only deadly if _consumed._ He couldn’t exactly “accidentally” eat an entire mushroom, could he? Maybe if he licked his fingers after touching them.

Uh, bad idea.

_Really bad idea._

He learned that the hard way.

He was doubled over with literally the weirdest most uncomfortable feeling he’d ever experienced. Mabel called it a “tummy ache”, Bill called it suffering.

She handed him a glass of water and encouraged him to drink it. He sipped slowly and pulled a face when he realized it wasn’t water but some kind of disgusting bubbly water-like stuff.

“What the heck did you eat?” (She didn’t sound very concerned with the situation because she didn’t really like Bill.) Bill shook his head and groaned weakly. Mabel shrugged and patted his shoulder. “You’ll get over it.” And with that she left him to suffer in silence.

Except not so silence?

It’s as if the stars aligned and the twisted God’s of fate smiled down upon Bill at that exact moment. Dipper came nearly tumbling out of a (very shitty) Mindscape portal. The portal closed behind him almost immediately and he gained his composure.

“That was the WEIRDEST thing I’ve ever done!” He shuddered. “What is going on in there? Is that like the collective Mindscape of _everyone_ because I saw some pretty w-” His eyes fell on Bill who was still closed in on himself quietly groaning due to his awful stomach ache. “Hey, what’s up with you?”

“Poisonous mushrooms.” He whined.

“What? You ate poisonous mushrooms?” Dipper arched an eyebrow. (In only slight concern, as he pinned Bill for being a tad bid overdramatic.)

Bill shook his head. “I touched one and licked my finger.”

“Why…?” Dipper stifled a laugh. “And how did you have time to? I was gone for like two minutes.”

“Try seventeen days, kid.” Bill rolled over so he could actually see Dipper.

“Huh?”

“You were gone for 17 days, Pine Tree.” Despite trying to sound cool and charismatic, Bill’s voice was very strained because of his stomach ache. He didn’t like it, the whole weak and vulnerable thing.

“What? No? I just left like…” He looked around the room and confusion set in. “Where’s Mabel?”

Bill shrugged, he didn’t bother asking where she was going before she left (he honestly didn’t care). “Listen, Dipper, time works differently in the Mindscape, if you don’t control it then it will control you. Two minutes there could be two years here if you don’t get a grip on it.”

Dipper frowned. “And how do I do that?”

“Don’t lose track of it.” Bill moaned in pain. Dipper mentally awarded him the _Vaguest Person of the Year award_. “If you stay aware you’ll live time at a rate similar or even slower than in the physical word – if you don’t then you’ll fly through the Mindscape so fast it could be 20 years later here before you get back.”

“You think this is information you would’ve told me sooner!” Dipper knitted his eyebrows together in annoyance. “Y’know before I actually went _inside_ the Mindscape!”

Bill dismissively waved a hand, the first time he let go of his abdomen since Dipper arrived, “I wasn’t thinking about it, it’s not something I usually have to worry about because I can manipulate time.”

“Can I?”

“Probably not yet?” His answered sounded more like a question itself. Since Bill wasn’t in the Mindscape he couldn’t exactly assess Dipper’s abilities. He grabbed his stomach again when it made a loud gurgling noise. “Can we talk about this later?” He almost sounded desperate.

Dipper rolled his eyes and sighed through his nose. “I should make you suffer but seeing as you are in my body I’ll spare you.” A rather cold sentence for the once kind and caring Dipper Pines. (Bill didn’t dare bring that to his attention though, as it could start a whole new slew of questions that Bill was not up to answering.)

“My hero.” Bill rolled back into his previous position and closed his eyes tight, anxiously awaiting relief. Humans were so fragile.

Lesson learned, Bill Cipher, lesson learned.

The lesson was learned but _not_ getting hurt was a lot harder than Bill thought it would be. Within a week of the Mushroom Incident (as Mabel had playfully dubbed it, being in a much better mood knowing Dipper was back and well), Bill had nearly broken his leg, _actually_ broken his left pinkie finger, and scraped his knee so bad it was painful to walk. Not _fun_ painful either.

He dreadfully leaned against the headboard of the bed and groaned in pain because he’d accidentally moved his knee a bit too rapidly. He brought his hands (completely with splint-clad pinkie finger) up to his face and buried it in them.

“Being a human is so hard. I’ve learned nothing and I _keep accidentally getting hurt_.”

“Mm-hm, accidentally.” Dipper said dryly. “I’m sure.”

“I’m serious!” Bill retorted. “Mabel said I’m ‘accident prone’, whatever the hell that means.”

“Hey watch your mouth.” Dipper scolded. “I’m twelve.”

“Ugh!” Bill had had _enough_ , he was so beyond ready to be back in his position of power in the Mindscape, but Dipper hadn’t learned anything yet! He’d only even been back to the Mindscape once since the Mushroom Incident and he still couldn’t manage his time. (He didn’t come back again for four days. Bill didn’t tell Mabel, he just pretended Dipper was there. He couldn’t deal with more Mopey Mabel.)

“Hey dude, maybe you should think about this.” Dipper gestured between them. “Everything that’s happening here,” He gestured around the entire room, “The next time you decide to take a joy ride in somebody’s body.”

“If there is a next time.” Bill grumbled.

“Huh?”

“I said,” Bill inhaled rather deeply through his nose; thinking about this was kind of sour (but completely logical.) “If there _is_ a next time, Pine Tree.”

Dipper shook his head and let out a shaky disbelieving laugh. “Haha, nice try Bill, we aren’t going to be stuck like this forever.” He was not too sure of himself “… are we?”

The grim nature of their situation was starting to come to light and Bill knew it. (Dipper knew it too but he wanted to pretend he didn’t for the sake of his own sanity.) Bill didn’t make eye contact with Dipper, he just repeated quietly. “Are we?” 

**Author's Note:**

> As of right now I don't know if this work will ever be finished. If you want to take it and run with it be my guest. I fell out of it and never got the momentum to continue. I might come around to it some day but for now I'll leave it posted with no end.


End file.
